`float.on./

Ringing in my head:

You were laying on the carpet
like you're satin in a coffin.
You said, "Do you believe what you're sayin'?"
Yeah right now, but not that often.

Are you dead or are you sleepin'?
Are you dead or are you sleepin'?
Are you dead or are you sleepin'?
God I sure hope you are dead.

Well you disappeared so often
like you dissolved into coffee.
Are you here right now
or are there probably fossils under your meat?

Are you dead or are you sleepin'?
Are you dead or are you sleepin'?
Are you dead or are you sleepin'?
God I sure hope you are dead.

Now the blow's been softened,
since the air we breathe's our coffin.
Well now the blow's been softened,
since the ocean is our coffin.
Often times you know our laughter
is your coffin ever after.
And you know the blow's been softened,
since the world is our coffin.
Well now the blow's been softened
since we are our own damn coffins.
Well everybody's talkin' about their short lists.
Everybody's talkin' about death.

You were laying on the carpet
like you're satin in a coffin.
You said, "Do you believe what you're sayin'?"
Yeah right now, but not that often.

Are you dead or are you sleepin'?
Are you dead or are you sleepin'?
Are you dead or are you sleepin'?
God, I sure hope you are dead.

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hello
yarp... so anyway... i just got home not long ago from yf retreat.. came home early.. cause everyone was leaving.. and i wanted to really sleep on my bed.. so yeah.. got a lift from william.
yup, well the retreat was a really great awakening to my spiritual life.. and a learning point is that... i cant lead my life leaning of feelings.. rather by obedience.. which is such a good point.. cause feelings change... and it can be either good or bad... and if i do... wouldnt i always feel bad most of the time? but only through obedience.. can we then truely serve God... whether feeling good or bad! and thats the Great Commision isnt? to serve God and rejoice with all our hearts for the glorification of his kingdom? yarp.. and also.. to love my enemies whole heartedly... the story mark gave abt the 2 couples jack and jill... ahh its too long to say la.. ill type it out again next time.. but yeah... it is really refreshing to know all these came up.. and convicted my heart.. that i should be tolerable and stuff... and then there was a debate on whether clubbing and pubbing gives an oppotunity for christian witnesses... quite another wakeup call... and u know... yeah... i dont think i;'m mature enough yet to realise what i should and should not do... but yeah.. it is a conseversial topic.. and yes should be addressed! over all the camp was great! great lessons..and great games.. playing jenga and uno-stako, boogle.. good ole indoor games.. haha got everyone young and old having fun! it was great!
yarp.. but anyway... when i was home.. i guess i realised how much of a sinner am i again... like... i was quite pissed at my mom for being so longwinded abt my future.. cause i demanded a solution or rahter a blueprint of where i should go after my diploma.. hai.. but anyway... it was quite a sad conversation.. cause i really wanted to exit it cause it really wasnt going my way.. so i guess i ended it with wrong note.. which got me quite upset as well... so yeah.. i called bertram... and well yeah i was still quite upset too.. but he did cheer me up with a verse in the bible... philippians 4:6, which speaks of man to not be anxious but in everything by prayer and petition... let my thanksgiving be let known unto God.. i was a bit fazzed by it... but.. after some alone thinking ... i realised how selfish i was... in life yes... i have to just be happy and Glorify God! but i was just wanting to be happy... and not Glorify God! i didnt think of that during the heat of the arguement.. and it is there i realised how much a sinner i am... that i should repent.. and trust God for the future... i should do my studies well... and keep my options open.. but for the future of where i will be... its all up to God! which is most important! trust God!
so then after that.. after that ordeal.. i tried to cheer myself up... and well thanks to viv... i was able to smile again! thanks for encouraging me.. and then.... suddenly... at my doorstep... bertram appears! i told him not to come la! but he did... what a friend right! and i guess it reminds me to thank God so much for such great friends! yup so he came over... we talked... prayed! it was really great! and well its all God's blessing and indeed! all praise to him! hah!

oh well.. service is coming up.. and i should sleep. so then.. ill update more soon! peace be to yawll! and God Bless..
nighto

Saturday, May 21, 2005